Friday, May 31, 2013

Day 33 – Survivor Profile: Lance & Hunter


Lance Wiggington: Lance came to work with us in the Produce Department last year and I have to be real honest with you... I didn't like the kid to start. He had entered I to a brand new environment, didn't really know how to handle all of us, and so to try to fit in, he went the macho route, wanting to prove he was a big, tough guy. He quickly realized that technique didn't really impress anyone and so he let that quirky, weird side come through... And once he did that, he became a true member of our group. No one has looked back since.
You know the kind of redneck kid that is one of those borderline outdoor survivalists? That type of person knows how to fish, hunt with a bow, hunt with a rifle, can clean and field dress his kills, and then cook it up for you afterwards? Yep, that is Lance. If you were looking around for a redneck to survive not just the zombie apocalypse but any apocalypse, Lance is that kid. I don't like to rank our survivors in order of importance because everyone brings their own unique skill set to the table. But Lance is really up there in the rankings as far as a survivor that I do not want to lose.
If we need fresh meat later on down the line, you are not going to see me out there tracking down a buck or shooting squirrels for his squirrel & dumplings dish. And this is just the things that he does in his spare time.
Lance was going to school to be an electrician which is one of the things that saved his life. Being so late in the school year, Lance had already completed all his credit hours at VoTech, so he didn’t go into school at Ketchum until after lunch. Wanting to make a little extra money, he talked Holly into letting him come in early just to help us set up from 7:00 to 11:00 until school was out. That little decision saved his life. 
Because of all that VoTech schooling, he knows his ways around tools. All his older brothers are military trained. And this kid is the textbook definition of a gym rat. He really leads the charge with our physical fitness routines. I don't want to sound like I am gushing too much but her really is an important piece in our group. Amazing considering he is barely eighteen.
I guess if he does have a downside it is that he is a ginger which means he has no soul, he can draw thin lines of blood with the “rattails” he makes out of the wiping rags from the department, and he is the single biggest depleting force of our beer supply...

 
Hunter Woolsman: The odds of us employing two gingers in a department that had a total of six people had to be a statistically improbability but somehow the powers that be in Reason’s made it happen. With the exception of Audrey, Hunter probably had the shortest employment run in the store before Zero Hour but it was flat out amazing how quickly Hunter fit in the with our group. Have you ever experienced that strange moment of Zen where you say, “Yeah, he is going to fit right in”? Well, one day Lance came back into the department eating some of the chicken from the hot bar from the deli. Hunter saw Lance eating and chased him out of the department, calling out in a proud and audible voice, “Yo, give me some of that cock, bro!” That pretty much did it. He was in ever since.
Despite all his claims for “No Homo” – and it is not like he a secret gay or anything – Hunter will hug you when you are leaving at the end of your shift. He is somewhat known for those encouraging smacks on the butt like football players… but he only does it with the male survivors. I am probably not painting an accurate picture. Hunter is a good kid. I’ve even had him over to my house for dinner.   
I think like all of us, it was blind luck that during Zero Hour, Hunter had decided to skip school to do some fishing. It was also good timing that Hunter was one of the first people Lance speed-dialed when things started falling apart. Hunter and Lance have become some pretty good friends. I cannot tell you how many times they have spent time after work “drinkin’ cold beer” as they call it. Just ignore the fact that both of them are well under twenty-one.
Along with Alex, Hunter is one of the few reasons that we have a small collection of firearms thanks to the rifle and pistols he always carried with him in his truck. And during Zero Hour, he saved my son’s life. For that I am eternally grateful. I swear, give me time and I will explain Zero Hour in full detail. I promise.