Day 62 – The Carbone Effect

Earlier this week, we discussed the Carbone Initiative, which was our plan to freeze a zombie. We wanted to know if weather and winter would grant us an advantage when the temperature hits below freezing. This is what we did.

Nolan and Kanen fashioned these unique man-catchers with broom handles from the dust mops which gave us superior reach. They then lashed nooses to the end of the dust mops made out of extension cords from the small Home Improvement section we have in the store. Try to imagine ripping an extension cord in two. It is not easily accomplished.

The goal was to have snipers positioned on the roof, clearing out the back of the store of zoms until we just had one zom staggering around. The target chosen was a smaller woman just because we wanted a target that we could physically overpower if we needed to.

The snipers were Phase 1. Once the zom was alone and targeted, we put a shot in one knee just for good measure. Then we presented bait outside the roll up door. Bait basically equals Luke. The zom came shuffling up the ramp on one good leg. Now, all the roll up doors feature the plastic flaps that are intended to keep the conditioned air inside and let vendors or employees walk in an out without having to close the door up and down.

So when the zom staggered through the door, it was somewhat confused by the plastic flaps to start. Once it was inside, two man-catchers were dropped over the neck of this zom. It allowed us to keep her safely at arms’ length. We shut the door back and locked it. Then key people started wrapping this zom up in shrink wrap.

If you are not familiar with shrink wrap, imagine a roll of plastic wrap that is about 18-inches long. Vendors use it to wrap up their pallets of merchandise, like 2-liter drinks, so that the pallets do not topple when being moved from trucks into the store. We tested this theory and actually wrapped up a couple of people. We wrapped up Lance, Tommy, and Luke – all considered the strongest people in the store. After four times around with this industrial Saran Wrap, no one could break free. Once those arms were pinned against your sides, there is no escape.

With the Carbone Zombie inside, we wrapped her up several times to ensure safety and prevent fluid contact. We wrapped around her head and she still kept thrashing despite the lack of oxygen. It was like we wrapped her into a big, giant condom. We then loaded her into one of the heavy industrial ice cream racks that the companies deliver ice cream on. Wrapping Lady Carbone into the cart, we then just shoved her in the ice cream freezer. (Fearing a contamination issue, yes, we had the freezer empty before we locked her inside.)

We then left her alone for 48 hours. Result: Frozen solid. We went inside the freezer and when we got in her face, we noted pupil contraction and there were… vibrations for lack of a better term. It was like she was trying to get at us but just could not move.

So this gives us great hope for the winter. Once it starts freezing, we can start moving around a little more freely. Nice….  

Day 61 – Getting Your Burn On

I am not going to dwell on this for too long because with everything that has been going on I have attempted to lock away that section of my brain. It has not been easy at times. I am a red blooded man after all. Anyway, there was an ad campaign here a while back that talked about how smell is a sense most closely tied to memory. And I believe that is true.

I remember when I was in seventh grade, we practiced football first hour and you had to run from the locker room past the cafeteria to get to the practice field. And there was something about the mixture of bus exhaust, the cafeteria dumpsters and wet grass that carried a mist of the morning dew. I had not been at Adair Schools for about a decade but for that first day of Kindergarten, we parked in the same parking lot that we used to have to run through. And when the smell tickled my nose, I was right back to seventh grade gym class. It was astounding. I will never forget that.

Well, I told you that story to tell you this one.

I was working on something in the backroom. It was nothing time pressing and I was just dinking and dunking around. (I tell you this because I don’t want you to get all, “Them girls ain’t pulling their weight!”) Well, a small collection of the girls were headed to the roof to suntan. It is good and warm. The sun was out. Well, all of them smelled off suntan lotion.

For me, that is one incredible smell. I guess it is because it is associated with swimming and bikinis and beach fun. Who doesn’t have a positive memories revolving around a bikini? Oh well, gonna stop thinking about it. I had to shut down that section of my brain and I am not even thinking about unlocking it…

 

Day 61 – Survivor Profile: Kim & Jennifer

I missed some time chronicling Zero Hour and coping with the loss of Keith so I am trying to get back on the horse and into a regular rhythm. So let’s continue the seventh installment of our continuing Friday segment: Better Know A Zombie Apocalypse Survivor!

 

Kim Chambers: Back when what we are calling “Group 2” arrived on our doorstep, I couldn’t help but think that the Chambers family might be the luckiest family on the planet. A quick recap for those just tuning in. You have Janet who worked in the office. Her son, who worked at Reason’s for a time, makes it safely from ACE Hardware through zom-infested streets to reunite with his mother and fiancé. Can it get any sweeter than that? Oh yes, Janet’s daughter – Brad’s older sister – works in the Pharmacy as a drug dealer. While that department hadn’t opened up yet, Kim was here (along with coworker Jennifer) and both of them were safely inside, waiting on their boss to open up the department, when the first rush of zoms hit. We never saw any of the other Pharmacy employees. This is what is known as being born under a lucky star.  

So, Kim works in the pharmacy and aside from our conversations about music or me pretending to fend off her constant sexual advances towards me, I have to admit, I don’t know her that well. I mean we were friends on Facebook and always exchanged all the pleasantries when we would go about work but I don’t know her hopes and fears. Not like a Kasondra or a Lance. If I were going to officially label us, it would be “buddies.” I would stop and say hi to her if I saw her at Walmart. I would definitely stop to help her if her car battery died. But we were never one to hang out on a Friday night, whereas Luke shows up at my house regularly and Kasondra has come over to play Rock Band and poker with me.

I need to get to know Kim better. And I want to. She seems like a nice enough girl. We just never really connected much before all of this. Still, there is that nagging feeling in the back of mind because of what happened to Keith. Maybe I should distance myself. Maybe I shouldn’t get too close to anyone. After all, statistically speaking, there is a percentage chance that I might have to put a bullet in her head.

Still, with the familial unit that the Chambers have up here and with Brad and Kasondra reunited, in a way, it gives me hope…

 

Jennifer Brown: You know that cliché about how the pretty girls are all sitting at home on Friday night because all the guys are too afraid to ask them out. In my humble opinion (or as they used to say on the Internet IMHO), Jennifer is that girl. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I dare anyone to disagree with me. I will be the first to tell you that I was pretty intimidated by her appearance because Jen is a flat out beautiful woman.

Then we got to know each other over the years. She is a pretty cool chick. I have never met a person who will dance so spontaneously. It doesn’t matter what kind of music is on, Jennifer will dance at the drop of a hat. Now, the quantifier is I did not say that she dances well. But I almost think that actually makes her more appealing. It is easy to be intimidated by that stripper that can dance flawlessly around that pole but when you get a goofy girl (those are the best girls by the way) that is willing to put herself out there and not really care if she looks crazy… that is a good thing.

The last comment I want to make about Jennifer is the “not judging the book by the cover” cliché. Growing up in a family with three older brothers, Jennifer is no stranger when it comes to hunting and fishing. She actually enjoys it. She has already started making plans with Hunter and Lance regarding plans to get us fresh fish once the zom population drops to more manageable levels.  

Day 60 – Zombiology 101: Human Flesh – It Does A Dead Body Good

I mentioned in Monday’s entry that this week we were visited by a shambling horde of zombies. I cannot tell you why they were shuffling past. They came in from the north and that alpha male was leading them south along the highway. I don’t know how they knew where they were going. But regardless, there was the shuffling horde just all following the highway. 

A lot of the guys enjoyed themselves taking their sniper shots from the roof. It was easy pickings because of the numbers. We made sure to use only silenced weapons and we thinned the herd considerably. Now, this was strange. When one of the horde got dropped, those surrounding the dropped zom did seem to get agitated and they would look around a bit. It was not because of any sort of compassion. It was probably the supersonic slug whipping into them. But eventually, the horde shambled past and shambled on. But we discovered something strange.

We have seen “stragglers” – a lone zom out wandering by itself. Their bodies are emaciated and rotting away. Now, I know that there are a number of factors that go into every zom. Like, the condition of the body before it reanimates. The amount of damage the body took before and after animation. A sickly, frail person that dies of the Kharon virus is going to degenerate much more quickly than the professional body builder that was killed by it.

But it seems as if most of the members of this shambling horde that passed us by seemed – for lack of a better term – well fed. It was as if all the flesh they had been coming across along the way has kept them going.

I cannot really understand it but maybe that is why we have seen other zoms vomiting. Maybe the consumption of nutrients actually keeps them going and vibrant (so to speak.) 

These things do not have a heartbeat, flowing blood, or need oxygen to survive. But it seems that feasting on human flesh manages to sustain them or somehow slow the degeneration process. This must be why they are so intent on feeding on anything they can get their hands on.

If that is the case, then I think we have made the smart choice to stick it out here in Langley. It is a small town. I think at this point, now 60 days into this waking nightmare, the town is pretty much all but cleared out of living people. We have yet to do house to house sweeps and searches but the signs of life are nonexistent. I am sure there are probably pockets somewhere. Isolated lake properties. Farms way out in the boonies. Families could still be hunkered down living on preserves and sniping any zom that wanders too close. But at this point, “ghost town” is an all too accurate description for Langley.

My fear is that this is not the last of the roving hordes that we might see. What about more densely populated area? Are zoms clearing out smaller towns like Vinita or Pryor? Then when the food is all gone, do they just start migrating, looking for more food in a more densely populated area? Would they flock to areas like Tulsa or Joplin? And so, how well fed are the zoms in those areas? I don’t even want to imagine places like Manhattan, Los Angeles, or Chicago…

So we have to stay hunkered down here and wait it out. I truly believe that the One Year Plan is working. We just need to wait it out. I realize that our barricade position leaves us a little safer than most and I hope that if you are reading this, you can stay hunkered down too.

Stay safe…

Day 59 – The Carbone Initiative

One of the greatest mob movies of all time is Goodfellas. I know, I know. The Godfather is going to get tossed out there. But for me, for my money, dollar for dollar, pound of pound, Goodfellas is the greatest mob movie of all time and I hate to even pigeon hole it. It is one of the greatest movies of all time. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is while Derek & The Dominos “Layla” is playing in the background and they are showing all the dead bodies as Jimmy has whacked the members of his crew that stole all the money from the heist. He would rather kill them then pay them. I absolutely love that scene and… What was I talking about?

Okay, so there is this scene where this one dude, Frankie Carbone, is found in a meat truck. In Ray Liotta’s narration, he talks about how, “When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he was frozen so stiff it took them two days to thaw him out for the autopsy.” Well, when Layla came up in the MP3 queue, it got me thinking about that scene and how Jimmy dealt with Carbone. And that in turn got me thinking. (Now you can kind of see how my mind jumps from topic to topic to topic.)

It is crystal freaking clear these zoms do not function like us. It is not a normal human being that can have his legs torn off and keep crawling after you. We have seen these things take decimating wounds and still keep coming. I have literally seen a zom cut in half and its top half crawls with his arms across the parking lot looking for food. Even with all the blood poured from its body, this thing still crawled on.

So let’s say that they do not have organic functions to regulate their body or their body temperature. And if that is the case, whether they are undead or not, they still have to be susceptible to the laws of physics. And quite simply, all dead tissue will freeze if it gets cold enough. I have seen frozen road kill last on the side of the road for a week during particularly brutal winters when the temperature does not rise above freezing. I guess the microbes don’t break down dead flesh in subzero temperatures.

And if that is true, then that means zombies can freeze. And frozen tissue does not shamble along very well. These guys are slow and lethargic now and we are a stone’s throw away from being hip deep in the dog days of summer.

So what happens this winter? Granted, Oklahoma is certainly no Wisconsin or Michigan but winters over the last few years here have been pretty brutal.  What if all these maggot bags start freezing? Dispatching them then would not be easy but it would certainly be easier.

Of course, proving this theory in June is a pretty difficult thing to do… unless you have a large, walk-in ice cream freezer like we do. And that is why we are going to lure one of the zom’s inside.

Now, it is dangerous but I truly believe that it is worth the risk. But in order to prove this theory, we have to lure a zombie inside and we are essentially opening ourselves up to all sorts of things going wrong. We discussed with everyone over dinner and people were quick to come up with a plan. Time is on our side and we are going to wait for the opportune time. We are going to be VERY smart about all of this but if my theory is right, it will improve our lifestyles tremendously this winter.

 

Day 58 – FoS: Department Report – Produce

Fortress of Solitude: Produce Department highlighted in green.

From the very beginning of this whole chaotic ordeal, we knew that certain areas and certain departments were on a ticking clock. Out of all of these, none was more vulnerable than the Produce Department. See, here is the thing.

What many people do not understand is that a store like ours received three trucks per week (on Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and then we would receive a half truck on Saturday. Rotation in a department like Produce is essential for success and very little in our department was on the shelf for more than a week before it was either sold or thrown out. Obviously, some product holds up better than others. Apples, any citrus, and certain heartier vegetables like carrots and onions can last months. Anything leafy or frail like iceberg lettuce, romaine, or red leaf was gone in a week. We did our best to eat the perishable items first. All those close dated juices that are only good for a month? We were drinking those first. Granted, nothing was thrown out on its expiration date like when the store was operating but with 20 people consuming them, they didn’t last. And yes, conservation is important for us with things like canned vegetables and fruits but on these items where it is basically eat them or they spoil, we treated ourselves. 

Certain canned fruit like Del Monte pineapple in glass jars have a shelf life of over a year. Those were quickly transferred to the dairy cooler. Sharon led the offensive when it came to canning but Aisle 5A only had so much canning supplies on hand. We ran out of jars and lids before we ran out of product. Our #1 seller in the department – bananas – went spotty and black before we could eat them all. I know that sounds horrible but the shelf holds nine cases and we had eighteen cases in back stock. That is over 1,000 pounds of bananas. There was no way we were eating them all. It was just impossible. So a lot got tossed down the compactor. Lettuce was gone in a week.  Tomatoes went quick. Without those supply trucks rolling in every other day, the department thinned out quickly.

Sure, things like peanuts, the fruit cups, and dried fruit will last way past our Year One plan but the department was easily emptied. Here on Day 58, the department is all but closed.

We transferred as much back stock (apples, citrus, etc.) to the dairy cooler as possible and then Tommy unhooked and shut down the produce cooler and the department cases. The last thing we wanted was to have a Freon leak bleed out all the coolant. Plus it will limit the amount of generator juice we need to spend to keep the store running when the power goes out.

We rolled the produce display tables that were originally in the center of the department back into the Produce Prep Room for storage and so we have this wide open area now. The biggest debate was what to with this sudden wide open space that you can see on the map. So we turned it into our dining hall so we could all eat together.

Day 57 – Honoring a Last Request

After Keith’s untimely loss, Judy Myers had a wonderful suggestion. We have all sorts of paper for the copy machine and office work and pens are plentiful in the office supply section. Today, everyone took an hour of personal time and wrote out their final request pending “contamination.” Their request was then sealed in an envelope with their names on it with the expressed intent that they only be opened in the event of being bitten by a zombie. If this happens to a member of our group, there are four possible outcomes:

 

1. A person of your choosing can walk up, with you see it coming, and shoot you in the head.
2. A person of your choosing can walk up, without you seeing it coming, and shoot you in the head.
3. You can wait to turn as a result of the virus and then be shot in the head.
4. We can give you a pistol and you can handle the situation yourself.

Now, no one had to reveal their choice. And truth be told, there is no right or wrong answer. Is it suicide to take yourself out? If you have the virus, you are already dead. On the other hand, what if we wait for you to turn and something goes wrong? What if a person misses the shot and gets bit? Now, because we let you live to your last breath, we have condemned someone else to the exact same fate. But don’t you want every last breathing moment? Are you kidding? Who wants to go through the unbearable pain that turned Keith into a fireball of fevered rage? But what if you off yourself and five minutes later the CDC arrives in the parking lot with a cure and a host of .50 caliber machine guns? Wouldn’t you rather the last thing you see in this world to be a friend that is willing to end your suffering? What if your transformation goes faster than anticipated? What if you turn quick? How can you selfishly put my teenage son – and everyone in this store! – in jeopardy?

Again, no real right or wrong answer. So everyone had to decide what they wanted their final request to be. We then locked the letters in the store office with the intention to only open them “in the event of…” And I truly hope I never have to read a single letter.

And while these decisions have been fairly tough, I cannot imagine the disagreements that could arise if we encounter stranded refugees. Every extra person we bring in lessens our overall resources and risks us to potential exposure of the virus. Then again, what is the alternative? Leaving them outside to die?

I am afraid that this is a subject I am going to have to bring up with the group…

Day 57 – “I’ve got to shamble. Shambling Man. Ohhh, I’ve got to to…”

I think all of life seems to have an inherent need to congregate. Humans obviously gather together. Fish have schools. Birds have flocks. Lions have prides. I saw an Internet posting one time that asked why a group of squids are not called a squad. I thought that was pretty darn funny. Well, apparently, the need to stick together as a group seems to carry over to the undead.

We saw a very large shamble of zombies staggering and stammering along Highway 82 late this morning. For a reason that they cannot explain, this shuffling horde came in from the north along Highway 82 and then turned on Highway 28 to head towards Adair. We do not know where this group came from. I supposed it could have been a horde from Vinita. Afton maybe? They could have staggered in from Miami way up in the northeast corner of the state. Perhaps they are a collection of “city zombies” that decided to migrate on after the food sources ran out.  

Thankfully, the majority of the horde just shambled on past. There was a few that staggering into the parking lot looking for potential food but we just stayed buttoned up and quiet. This does kind of smash the theory that zoms seem to have some sort of ESP when it comes to tracking down living humans.

Keep in mind that we were also on the roof, out of sight or deep inside the store. They did not seem to be able to smell us or deduce that we were inside. They just are not that smart. Still, I would not want to run into a pack of these things out in the open. But how smart are they?

For instance, say you are out in the woods and you stumble into a small grouping of these things. Through some miracle, you are packing around one of those ghillie suits like snipers wear but it is in your backpack. You climb a tree to escape. So now all the zoms are clustered around, arms stretched out towards you but they are not smart enough to climb the tree.

You then put on the camouflage suit and blend into the tree. Are zoms like babies and you can play peekaboo with them? By putting on the suit, do you disappear off their radar provided they go long enough without being able to smell you, hear you, or touch you? I mean, in that walnut sized brain, if you hide from zoms in a building, they may think that you went out the back or found some other mode of escape. But could you just hide in a tree and get away with it?

I am interested but not interested enough to try it. If we start venturing outside, will we start finding corpses in places where the zoms just waited them out until they died of thirst?

We may never know. But I guess the larger, more looming question is: Who was leading that shambling horde? Why did they turn towards Adair instead of heading to Spavinaw? Do they have an Alpha Male leading the horde and if so, what does it take to qualify as an Alpha Zombie?

Day 55 – Hollow Points & a Little Crush…

So, there is a pretty stark contrast between the ammo that is stocked in a police station is way more impressive than the stuff that you buy from Walmart or Bass Pro Shop. The level of weapons and gear that Brad and his crew hauled in is pretty darn impressive. The mag light flashlights, the various clips and the freaking bricks of ammunition are awesome.

I am still convinced that our .22 caliber ammo is superior given the weight and the bonus number of shots you can fire off without reloading. But there is something satisfying about the big blasts that they are capable of.

Their silencers are incredibly impressive. Brad made sure to bring extra materials and we are making silencers for our collection of weapons. I think Hunter is jacked more than anyone about the potential. Because of the silencers, I think it takes our protection to a whole other level. Before, we would snipe zombies when they were milling about and got a little too close for comfort. The problem with that is that for every zom that you snipe, there is a chance that you might bring two or three more out of the woodwork.

Now, I think that we have a potential to snipe out a good portion of the Langley zoms from a very comfortable and safe position. 

Yulonda and Kelsey also really came through with a haul from out of Dollar General. Underwear, socks, a variety of clothes, a few modest blankets, and items that we don’t carry here in a straight grocery store. They also brought real towels which are infinitely superior to the scratchy beach towels we have been using. And note: They are as excited about the showers as we are about their towels…

And then there is this little side note. Alex likes hanging out with Fred because I think he sees him a bit as a grandfather figure. Add in the fact that Fred can walk on his hands down most of the length of the backroom, knows about a million Henny Youngman style one-liners, and is pretty close to Alex in height and you can see why. But when it came to shooting instruction, I noticed that Alex always gravitated towards Kasondra. He liked spending time with her and she would always be right behind him when it came to shooting instructions (his stance, aiming, etc.)

Now that Brad has arrived, Alex seems to have shut down a bit and he doesn’t want to hang out with Kasondra when Brad is around. I know what is going on. It has to be. I mean Kasondra is really young compared to some of the others in here. Hobbit Judy is way closer in age to Alex’s mom than Kasondra. So it is not a motherly thing. No, I think Alex was getting his first crush.

Given Kasondra’s tomboy nature and her willingness to help Alex fire a weapon, it is easy to see how he could easily become smitten by the kitten. I am quite certain Kasondra never had any feelings for Alex (aside from a big sister/little brother scenario) but Kas was empowering Alex to stay safe and fight in the zombie world. Those stitches of appreciation could easily turn towards romantic feelings. Isn’t that the basis for the Florence Nightingale syndrome?  

But while this cute little crush never really got a chance to develop, it does lead me down a depressing road. Alex will be fifteen in four months. I cannot imagine that there is a plethora of fifteen-year-old girls still alive out there in the world

Will he ever know love, a girl?

Day 54 – Zero Hour: Part 5

Two of our survivors are Lance Wiggington and Hunter Woolsman. They are both high school kids but I could not be happier to have them with us.

Lance was going to Vo-Tech to get his electrician’s license. Lance goes to Ketchum High School but if you are in the Vo-Tech program, you go to that school in the morning and then show up at school after lunch for your regular classes. But Lance was such a go-getter that he finished with his course on April 12^th. So he didn’t have to show up to school until after lunch. Not one to just sit around the house and wanting money, he finagled his way into coming in and helping us set up the Produce Department before leaving for school. Thankfully, Lance was helping us out with the truck. And I am thankful every day that he is here.

Hunter… well, let’s just chalk his survival up to dumb luck… which is kind of his M.O. anyway. Hunter goes to Vinita but spends as much time out of doors as he does in. He is always hunting or fishing or working on his pickup. He is a first class welder (taught by his father since he was nine). And on this day of all days, Hunter decided he would rather spend time fishing than sitting in a classroom. So he was skipping school and fishing out on Grand Lake when Zero Hour began. The distance from the docks to Reason’s was less than three miles for Hunter.

Working a lot of evening shifts together, Lance and Hunter became fast friends and drinking buddies. (Gasp! High school kids drink? Cold Beer? Oh the humanity!) So thankfully, Hunter was pretty quick on Lance’s speed dial when things started to go south. Thankfully the cell service had not quite collapsed yet. Being out on Grand Lake, Hunter got to the store relatively easily and I thank God for that because he and Alex rolled up to the store at the exact same time.

Hunter carries at least two weapons with him at any time. He keeps his hunting rifle behind the bench seat of his pick-up and a pistol under his seat. And clearly, Hunter came charging in with guns blazing and with no compunctions about putting bullets in some zom heads. He saved Alex and got him inside the store with me. So to Hunter, I owe a debt of gratitude that I don’t know I can ever repay.

With Alex inside, I started to turn my attention towards barricading the store. I know several people tried to get others inside but Alex and Hunter were the only successful steals into the store. Then, we started securing all the doors and started building the barricades that I told you about in the beginning of the blog.

After we were secure, Kasondra thought of the roof access hatch above the ice cream freezer. As the sun was setting, most of us went up to the roof to do some zombie watching. To see all these things milling around, the screams of people echoing across the wind…

Later, under the cover of darkness and with Hunter and Lance acting as snipers on the roof, Tommy, Luke, and I snuck outside to the pickup and passed the ammo to other waiting with shopping carts, bringing in all the weapons and ammo that Alex brought with him. 

I will tell you this, when Zero Hour was erupting all around us… It wasn’t Hell but we could see it from here.

Day 53 – Zero Hour: Part 4

Imagine this. You are a fifteen-year-old kid. It’s Monday morning around 9:00. You are home sick from school, on the backside of recovering from the flu. It is not a serious illness but you are pretty ticked off that you wasted a weekend in bed when you should have been going to a friend’s birthday party. Your dad has left to work in Langley and he told you to stay home to make sure you were fully recovered.

So you are chilling on the couch, watching television, wrapped under blankets, and you get a call from your dad on his cell phone. But this is not just a check-in call Ferris Bueller style to see how you are doing. He is barking orders and from his tone you can tell that there is no room for discussion. He tells you to look outside and see if anyone is around. You live out in the country and your nearest neighbor is several hundred yards away. When you tell him no, he tells you to pack a bag of supplies. He tells you to bring clothes and essentials only and bring the fire safe. You know what is in the fire safe. Dad’s pistols. Both of them. But he told you to never touch that safe. Well, permission has been granted. You toss everything in gym bags and then hoof it over to your grandparents’ house that is next door.

Dad demands that you stay on the phone the whole time. You know where your grandparents hide the key. After all, you have been going over there to put out food for their dog, Bandit, in hopes of scoring some extra allowance money for a video game that you want. Dad’s demand is very curious. Go to the rack where Granddad keeps the keys. Get the one to his blue Dodge pickup – the one with the ram head decal on the leather patch. It is sitting unused in the garage while they are away on vacation, gambling down in Tunica, Mississippi.

This is where it gets really strange. He has you go to Granddad’s gun room. Yep, his collection is so large he has an entire room dedicated to his guns. Welcome to the home of a right-wing conservative living in Oklahoma who has been stockpiling under the threat from 2008 to 2012 that the administration was going to take away all the guns. And now that Obama has been re-elected and he can “unleash his true radical agenda,” ammo has been purchased by the box load. Dad tells you to load up all the guns and ammunition that you can. He particularly wants the hunting rifles with scopes. Anything with a long range sight. And ammo, all the ammo boxes you can load in. Get the .22 rifles that you have been training with. Put it in the back of the pickup. Thankfully, the Dodge has a bed cover that you can lock everything in. When you begin to protest, Dad tells you that you have a five minute clock. And you have to stay on the phone the whole time.

So you do as you’re told. Ammo is heavier than you think and your arms are burning by the time the five minutes is up. He wants you to lock the bed cover. You don’t want anything spilling out.

Then, he tells you to look outside through the garage door windows and make sure no one is outside. You confirm you are alone. Now, get in the pickup, start it and have it in drive when you open the garage door via the remote control Granddad keeps clipped on the sun visor. Now, you were scheduled to take a driver’s ed class this summer but actual time spent behind the wheel is limited. So you say into the phone, “Dad, I don’t even have my learner’s permit.”

“You’re learning today, son…”

Instructions are simple, drive to Highway 69 and cut across. Do not go into Adair. Go through the small, tremendously under-populated town of Strang. Head into Langley from the south and cut down that side road next to the donut shop where we got donuts that one day. Make the first turn to the left on that paved road. Come up to Reason’s through the back service road. Come to the Produce Dock. Stay on the phone the whole time. Do not stop. Do not talk to anyone. Do not stop for anyone. Plow through Strang. If people are in your way… run over them.

You begin to protest. Your dad wants you to run over people? You want to know what is going on. One word. Zombies. You can scarcely believe it. Your dad makes it real clear. You have two choices: Believe and live or disbelieve and die.

So you do as you are told. Thankfully, you don’t see any cars, even when you cross the highway. Strang is all but abandoned but it was not like it was a populated town to begin with. They couldn’t even keep a convenience store afloat. All they have is a post office, a volunteer fire department, and a few churches. Do they even have a cop?

Speed is not an issue. You put your foot down as fast as you dare to go. That 22 minute trip, you cut down to 16 flat. But once you reach Langley, and specifically the store where your Dad works, it is a nightmare like out of one of your video games. These things are wandering around in the parking lot and the engine on Granddad’s pick up is not quiet. So they come chasing after you. Dad is still on the phone guiding you in. Still, at fifteen, most of your driving skills come from XBox. And you crash into the Produce Dock, pinning your driver side door against the dock itself. So the only way out is through the passenger side door, out the driver side window, or the sliding windows in the back. And none of these options seem appealing when zoms are closing in on the truck. Two get close enough to start banging on the passenger side window. Your heart drops. You are trapped. Why didn’t you keep a gun up front with you?

Then, from out of nowhere, there is a savior.

A guy that your dad works with comes pulling alongside you in a 4X4 pickup outfitted with a gun rack in the back window and Bone Collector stickers on the back glass. He splatters the zoms banging on your passenger window with the front brush guard of his pick-up. Then he backs up, gets out, and starts blasting away with a pistol of his own. Clearly, he is not in disbelief about the zombie apocalypse and has zero compunction about putting a bullet in each one of these maggot bags’ heads. Given the camouflage design on his dashboard and steering wheel and all the weapons in his truck, it is almost comical that his name is Hunter. Sure enough, he more than lives up to his name. Clearing a path to the Produce dock, he kicks on the door, yelling for the door to be opened. Thankfully, you are still on the phone to your dad. The door opens, there he is, and he yanks you inside. You tell him that the truck is full of guns but he just wants you inside.

Somehow, defying all odds, you make it to a refuge inside a grocery store and you are safe with your dad.

This is the story of Alexander Jason Mathews and how he made it to Reason’s Foods in Langley, Oklahoma on April 29^th, 2013. This is how my son survived to be with us. And I thank God every day for it.

Day 52 – Zero Hour: Part 3

If you look on our map, there are several entrances in the rear of the store. On the far north end of the building, there is the main dock where semi-trucks back up and unload their pallets of merchandise. Near this dock, there is an emergency fire exit. There is no handle on the outside of the door and this thing is made of pretty solid steel. At the time of Zero Hour, a semi-truck was backed into the dock, plus it stands a good five feet off the ground so that area is not really breach potential. There is the produce dock with a scissor lift ramp for our trucks to unload but I explained on my last entry how that area was secured. But not all vendors make deliveries in semis. Frito Lay, Coca-Cola, Little Debbie, Budweiser, all these companies bring their stuff in on pallets or on hand carts and they wheel them up a ramp entrance into the main section of the backroom. That ramp makes it easy for vendors to wheel in their product. It is also a straight shot for a zombie that made it into the store just before Kasondra called out for the lockdown.

And it was this zombie that incapacitated the two girls, Toni Peters and Lisa Paulson, who were working in the receiving office. [Every time I went back to the DSD office to get a price changed or a sign printed, I would always tell Lisa, “Her name was Lisa Paulson… Her name was Lisa Paulson…” But I don’t think she ever saw Fight Club so that reference was lost on her.] So imagine Luke’s surprise when he comes walking from one of the freezers, carrying a box of product, as he heads back to the meat department.

As Luke tells the story, he was walking back to the department, when the call went out. It was at that time when Toni and Lisa were attacked. They managed to barricade themselves within the Receiving Office but the office has two thin-paned windows that the zombie smashed through quite easily.

To be honest, I don’t know what lucky star Luke was born under but he managed to incapacitate the zombie that was punching its way through the window. He rescued both the ladies by hitting the zom with the box of product he was carrying and knocked it out of the roll up door and off the dock without managing to get bit or coming in contact with any fluid. He did say that he saw the ones attacking Holly but there was nothing he could do. More were shuffling in from around the corner so he slammed the roll up door shut and latched it. 

Now, if you have not recognized the names of Toni Peters or Lisa Paulson, it is because they were not counted amongst the survivors. Many employees used to park their cars out back, including Toni and Lisa. As the weather got warm, parking under the shade of the trees was prime real estate. So the ladies decided to make a run for it after assessing the situation. These are both family women with children and grandchildren and the last place they wanted to be was away from their families. Before escaping out of one of the security fire doors, the last we saw, they made it to their cars and drove away. What has ever become of them, I have no idea. Maybe they made it to their families and maybe they made it to a safe zone… but we don’t even know where a nearby safe zone is…

Still Luke locked down that rear entrance and probably saved us from letting an endless mob of those zoms from getting in here. But this is when we came to the hard part. I was not just concerned about getting all of the zombies out of our store. I was concerned with getting one person in…

Day 51 – Zero Hour: Part 2

I cannot remember how long I had been working at Reason’s when Zero Hour hit. I want to say seven years. In that span, I had two different bosses running the department. My first boss was literally the best boss I had ever had. He was my friend, he kept me insulated from all the corporate crap, and we would have lengthy conversations about absolutely nothing. So, when he decided to move on, it was a pretty rough day for me. Even now, I have to assume that Dave has been lost to this apocalypse. I would go and see him often on lunch when I wanted to get away from the store (if he wasn’t at school) and we would discuss World of Warcraft. He only lived a few minutes from the store by car. I would think most people would consider Reason’s one of the few refuges in Langley so if he hasn’t made it here by now… he is not going to.

My second boss – Dave’s replacement – had some big shoes to fill. But I liked Holly and over the last year, she had performed quite well. My biggest complaint about Holly was that she was a smoker. Smoking killed my mother. I have no doubt that it caused her cancer and robbed me of years with her. I don’t know how many times I told Holly and those guys from the Meat Department to quit. It is easy for me to say having never been a smoker but because of Reason’s Breathe Easy program, smoking was not permitted on store property. So the smokers would head off property to smoke, generally right at the property line. It is not so far that you are not within shouting distance if you have a phone call but it is too far a distance to run when a shamble of zombies emerge from around the corner…

When Kasondra’s call went out to lock down the store, I was in the produce cooler so I was the first one to the roll up door that leads out to our back dock where we unload our trucks. When I poked my head out of the plastic flaps that keep the air conditioning in to wave Holly inside, I emerged just in time to see her being overpowered and drug to the ground by three of these things.

I have to admit that I froze in my tracks. I mean your mind can barely comprehend what you are seeing. I have seen all kinds of zombie movies and Alex plays that zombie level on his Call of Duty game but you never imagine that you are going to get thrown into that nightmare. I mean this is the kind of horror story that you only see in the movies, right?

But when those things turn their dead, yellow eyes on you, reality sets in pretty quick. If not… well, I wouldn’t be writing this. So I saw Holly drug to the ground and these guys are sinking in their teeth. I am sure that doctors can tell you (or at least they wouldn’t be surprised by this) but the human heart is a miraculous machine. And the force at which this wonderful vessel pumps our blood…

I say this because on that day, I was shocked by how far blood squirts out when zombie teeth get sunk into an artery. That is what I remember most. I remember that blood spray. Thankfully, when Holly was hit, she went down fast and these monsters jumped on top of her so that I could not see her eyes. Truth be told, I am not certain if I even remember her screaming. She was gone so fast and there was nothing I could do.

I wanted to rush out there and save her but when I screamed her name, one of the three looked up at me, blood running down his chin and a savage look in his eyes. Then he jumped up and charged at our produce dock. I am ashamed to admit it but I was frozen solid in fear. Thankfully, Lance responded fast to Kasondra’s call. He had come off the floor to the prep area because he knew Holly was outside. He yanked me back inside and had the wherewithal to shut the roll up door. Thankfully, that door slammed down a split second before that zom collided with it.

We lost our manager but the Produce Department was secure. 

Day 50 – Zero Hour: Part 1

It has been long enough. I’ve danced around it long enough and I guess I need to talk about this. Zero Hour. How this all began. I wish I could tell you that I have all the answers. Compiling all the different stories from all of our different perspectives and then combining that with the information from Shannon working as a police dispatcher, I think we have pieced this thing together.

This is what I believe happened…

On Sunday, April 28^th, there was a police report involving a “homeless man” attacking a resident outside of the Shady Reeds Nursing Home, which is located about half a block from Reason’s. The homeless man stumbled off after the attack and was never located by the police. Now, I am not saying that this guy was a zombie yet but he was probably well on his way to becoming one. He may not have died and fully risen yet but he was a carrier and capable of spreading the disease through his infection.

So the police report stated that the resident that was attacked – a man named Thomas Chanley – had been bitten. The skin had been broken skin but they treated him at the nursing home. The place has a full medical staff and it was just a bite. At the time, no one knew (or could have imagined) it was a zombie virus. Remember, there are not just the elderly in nursing homes. It is anyone that needs full time medical care. Someone could have been turfed in from a local hospital.

Now, Shannon’s report coincides with the fact that a number of elderly looking corpses and individual wearing hospital style gowns and robes were numerous amongst that initial wave. So here is what I think happened. Chanley is put on observation but it is not like hospital quality care where they have them hooked up to a variety of heart monitors. Why would he be hooked up to monitors anyway? It was just a bite.

He succumbs rapidly to the fever quickly before anyone notices. He “awakes” at 3 a.m. The woman in the bed is poor ninety-year-old Mrs. Glick who suffers from dementia. Zom Chanley attacks Glick and she dies pretty quick just from blood loss and shock. With Glick no longer kicking, Zom Chanley decides to move on to the next bed. While he is chowing down on Victim #3, Zom Glick reanimates. Now you have two of these things running around. Literally, within hours, the zoms have turned the whole place into a damn overnight smorgasbord.

How many patients could be bitten and infected within the midnight hours? If you keep with our theory that people with debilitating health being more susceptible to the disease, the whole place could be overrun in a matter of hours. 

The skeleton crew of orderlies and other overnight workers could be overrun before they even realized what they were dealing with. And now this whole host of zombies is just milling about bumping into each other and in their diminished mental capacity, they don’t know how to open the doors.

Then the day shift arrives…

The door gets propped open, the zoms come flooding out of the nursing home and begin staggering towards Reason’s. That is at least what we are theorizing. Here is what we know.

I believe the first zom to show up on our doorstep was a scout – a wanderer – looking for food. What he encountered was a woman putting groceries in her car on the far north side of the parking lot. Now, you have to keep in mind. No one is anticipating some sort of zombie apocalypse. These guys are recently turned (within 12 hours) so they are not decaying or withered or even slightly resemble walking corpses. Patient Zero was reported to look like a sick, homeless guy with these milky, cloudy eyes. Granted, I have never seen a homeless guy in Langley but there are all over the place in Tulsa.

So this zom scout shambles up. He is newly dead so he doesn’t look like a corpse. There is still color in their faces but they do look sickly. He is not sporting massive wounds and is not missing limbs. He sees flesh, roars a zombie roar and shuffles forward to bite her. Naturally, the woman waylays him with a ten pound bag of potatoes. Zombies are fearless but they are just as susceptible to blunt force attacks. They can be stunned, knocked down, even knock unconscious… they just don’t die. Needless to say, a screaming woman attacking a man with a bag of potatoes draws attention from fellow customers in the parking lot and employees inside.

There were two managers on duty when the outbreak began. They were Kasondra Taylor (our assistant manager) and the store director Charley Montgomery. So some customer is bitten by a crazy homeless guy in the parking lot. This was witnessed by our CSM (Customer Service Manager) Lee Sutter. She pages for Charley to come to the front. Some female customer has been attacked out in the parking lot? Naturally, Charley goes outside to make sure the customer is okay. Kasondra arrives at the front of the store (at the registers) and stays inside to run the store as Charley goes outside with Lee. (This is standard procedure to keep one manager inside.)

As Charley and Lee are trying to help this customer, the zom wakes up from his potato attack and staggers back to its feet. It then goes to attack Lee. Charley defends her and by getting into a wrestling match with the zombie. Again, if this seems out of the ordinary, remember, they are not leaking blood out of their eyes or reeking of decayed flesh yet. Charley is just trying to help a customer and protect his CSM who is twenty-two years old and has a baby boy that is only one year old…

By the time they figure out that something is really wrong, a shamble of other zombies (Kasondra said they numbered at least twelve but probably more) lurch up onto the north side of the parking lot cutting Charley and Lee off from the north entrance. Now, this group that emerged, they seemed a little less than human and Kasondra had to make a hard choice. I know she has had nightmares regarding her decision but I thank her every day for it.

Kasondra closed and locked the north entrance. She then got on the store intercom system and screamed – I mean literally screamed – for the store to be locked down. Now Kasondra was positioned at the north entrance and she is screaming for the doors to get locked.

We let a few customers close to south entrance in but one of them had received a bite on the hand. We certainly were not going to turn an injured person away for a bite. Again, we didn’t know what we were dealing with. So we knew that the front was secure. All that was left was the service entrances. What Kasondra didn’t know is that one had already made it inside through the back entrance…