Normally, I try to keep my Saturday
entries a little lighter than most. I feel like it is my attempt to keep
grounded, as a throwback to the days that used to be. But, I have a real
problem right now. Because of the success of the sortie mission outside, Alex
wants to be involved in the outside raids.
I am absolutely refusing to let him be
a part of it.
It is not that I am distrusting of
people like Kasondra or Fred but this is my son that I am talking about. The
last thing I want is him in the danger zone outside. I know that I cannot
shelter him from everything that is going on. But there is a distinct
difference between sheltering him from the outside world and tossing him into
the shark tank.
Between the military personnel and the
hunters, there are all sorts of people amongst us that are very adamant about
gun safety and cleaning. Fred works with Alex extensively when it comes to
breaking them down and cleaning them. One of the funnier bits was when he took
a piece of the weapon while Alex was breaking down the pistols to see if he
would catch the mistake. Alex nailed him cold.
And then when it comes to shooting
training, Alex works pretty tightly with Kasondra still. (I still think he is
secretly harboring a crush on her.) I will admit that his skills are getting
pretty impressive but I don’t think he is anywhere near ready to be posted on
the quadrant of the sweeper team.
In his defense, Alex has told me that
he wants to be the ammo guy in the center that reloads the weapons for the
sweepers. I am very hesitant to even let him out the door. I have kind of
staved this whole conversation off by telling him that he needs to keep
training and practicing. My hope is that if I can push this off long enough,
the weather will get cold and he can go out on the winter runs when it is
freezing and the threat level is closer to zero.
Shooting frozen zombies is a lot less
dangerous and he would get the experience and confidence he needs to go out
into the great wide world, while secretly I am stacking the deck in his favor
without him realizing it.
I don’t want to be one of those
Helicopter Parents that hover over their children. I don’t want to be
overprotective to a point where he cannot do anything for himself. But this is
not some algebra class or making sure he is home before curfew after going out
cruising looking for girls.
Any mistake – the smallest bite – and
he is dead. I know I cannot shield him from this world forever but right now,
on this date, at this very minute, let me just keep him close and safe and
protected. We have all lost so many. I cannot lose him…
