One of the greatest mob movies of all
time is Goodfellas. I know, I know. The Godfather is going to get tossed out
there. But for me, for my money, dollar for dollar, pound of pound, Goodfellas is the greatest mob movie of
all time and I hate to even pigeon hole it. It is one of the greatest movies of
all time. One of my favorite scenes in the movie is while Derek & The
Dominos “Layla” is playing in the background and they are showing all the dead
bodies as Jimmy has whacked the members of his crew that stole all the money
from the heist. He would rather kill them then pay them. I absolutely love that
scene and… What was I talking about?
Okay, so there is this scene where
this one dude, Frankie Carbone, is found in a meat truck. In Ray Liotta’s
narration, he talks about how, “When they found Carbone in the meat truck, he
was frozen so stiff it took them two days to thaw him out for the autopsy.”
Well, when Layla came up in the MP3 queue, it got me thinking about that scene
and how Jimmy dealt with Carbone. And that in turn got me thinking. (Now you
can kind of see how my mind jumps from topic to topic to topic.)
It is crystal freaking clear these
zoms do not function like us. It is not a normal human being that can have his
legs torn off and keep crawling after you. We have seen these things take
decimating wounds and still keep coming. I have literally seen a zom cut in
half and its top half crawls with his arms across the parking lot looking for
food. Even with all the blood poured from its body, this thing still crawled
on.
So let’s say that they do not have
organic functions to regulate their body or their body temperature. And if that
is the case, whether they are undead or not, they still have to be susceptible
to the laws of physics. And quite simply, all dead tissue will freeze if it
gets cold enough. I have seen frozen road kill last on the side of the road for
a week during particularly brutal winters when the temperature does not rise
above freezing. I guess the microbes don’t break down dead flesh in subzero
temperatures.
And if that is true, then that means
zombies can freeze. And frozen tissue does not shamble along very well. These
guys are slow and lethargic now and we are a stone’s throw away from being hip
deep in the dog days of summer.
So what happens this winter? Granted,
Oklahoma is certainly no Wisconsin or Michigan but winters over the last few
years here have been pretty brutal. What
if all these maggot bags start freezing? Dispatching them then would not be
easy but it would certainly be easier.
Of course, proving this theory in June
is a pretty difficult thing to do… unless you have a large, walk-in ice cream
freezer like we do. And that is why we are going to lure one of the zom’s
inside.
Now, it is dangerous but I truly
believe that it is worth the risk. But in order to prove this theory, we have
to lure a zombie inside and we are essentially opening ourselves up to all
sorts of things going wrong. We discussed with everyone over dinner and people
were quick to come up with a plan. Time is on our side and we are going to wait
for the opportune time. We are going to be VERY smart about all of this but if
my theory is right, it will improve our lifestyles tremendously this winter.
