They say it can take over a year to
get over the loss of a loved one. I know this was true when I lost my mom to
cancer. It is a wound that never really healed. But how long does it take to
come to grips with when your world gets turned upside down and dropped in the
meat grinder? I’ve had some bad things happen in my life and then you have the
five stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
I don’t think any of us had a chance
to sit cradling our heads in our hands saying “this isn’t happening” over and
over again. You could deny it all you want but that just let the zoms close
around you. The bargaining phase was pretty much just one and done too. Those
things cannot be reasoned or bargained with. I think because those two stages
began and ended so quickly, we have dwelled a little longer on the Anger part
and the Depression.
Case in point was last night. Kim
Chambers and I discovered Ashlynn Bishop up on the roof. I cannot say that she
needed to be talked off the ledge because we are only about 30 feet up, if you
know what I am saying…
But it was like last night, the
epiphany set in for Ashlynn and that molten pool of depression and anger and
rage bubbled up and then erupted. It is not every day that you wake up to the
realization that the whole of your life was completely pointless. (Note:
Sarcastic produce clerks with the two brain cells require to record a blog are
always in high demand.)
What I mean by Ashlynn’s situation revolves
around her job. For her 9-to-5, she worked as an accountant for a small
insurance agency in Vinita. She did all their books and handled payroll and
deductions and new all the tax codes. Knowing a variety of tax laws and how to
fill out 1040EZ forms means a grand total of jack squat when you look outside
and see an undead cannibal fest. I think all of stopped and look around at how
useless large parts of our lives were when the outbreak hit. She was just the
one that actually voiced what we were all thinking. Once that crazy train left
the rails there was no reining it back on to the tracks.
It does give you pause. All my skills
on World of Warcraft and knowing darn near every line of dialogue from the Star Wars movies aren’t really useful
anymore, are they? (Wait. Were they ever
useful?)
So we did what we could. We let her
rant and rave and rage against the dying of the light until she had it all out
of her system. And then when she did, it was some sort of strange catharsis.
Kim gave her a great big hug and the three of us sat on the roof in silence for
a while and just enjoyed the summer breeze.
I guess we all need a little venting
every now and again…
