I am trying not to be a pragmatist.
I really am not. But there is a definite buzz amongst our small clan of
survivors. I am not certain if it is the excitement over the radio. I figure it
has to be that. Whatever the cause, people seem to be moving faster. Everyone
seems to have a little more pep in their step. I am not looking to dissect
gossamer. I am afraid that saying anything will destroy the effect but people
do seem to be genuinely happier. “Happier” isn’t quite the right word but I am
almost afraid to use the word that I want to.
But this is just between you and me,
right?
The word is hopeful.
We have all survived this long. Yes,
we have lost friends and family. I am not chalking up any of our losses to
stupidity or carelessness. We have fought for our lives. 334 days we have been
tap dancing on the rim of a blender and come out alive.
I am scared to think of what
percentage of the population was lost to this thing. But we have survived this
long. I think that says something about our group that we have managed to gut
this thing out.
I am the furthest person from
believing in psychic powers or anything but you can just feel that something is
on the horizon. And for the first time, it does not feel like a crushing wave
of cannibalistic undeath.
I don’t even want to type it out but
I will. Yes, there is such a thing as false hope. I understand that would could
be setting ourselves up for a great fall. But if everyone seems to be up and
optimistic, I am not going to be the one to drag everyone down.
And that can happen all too easy.
I have worked in environments –
sometimes even within my own department – where you can have that one Debbie
Downer bring down the whole crew. I am not going to be that person. No way. The
pendulum swings the other way too. You can have a whole group be kind of
humdrum and that one guy can storm through the doors and lift everyone’s
spirits.
I truly believe that emotions are
contagious. It would be real easy to slip into depression over what is going
on. Well, I for one am not going to be that guy. If everyone is up, I am going
to go along to get along. Who is to say that greatness is not just over the
horizon?
