On more than one occasion, we have
seen shambling hordes of zombies comes staggering past the store. During the
winter months I half expected to see some wearing Kansas City Chiefs or St.
Louis Rams clothing as if they were migrating down from the north to escape the
cold. We still feel that these things are triggered by instinct and, of course,
the most basic instinct is to feed.
We saw birds migrating before winter
set in. Back before America was domesticated, we know the Indians followed the
migratory patterns of the buffalo. When the winter weather first set in, we did
see that the zoms had enough sense to get inside if and when it was possible.
We discovered this in businesses, like ours, that featured automatic doors that
were motion-sensitive. So, the question is do zoms have enough instinctive
cognitive function to shamble south when the weather is getting cold?
Part of me wants to say that such a
notion is crazy. Clearly animals are much more in tune with the natural world
than we are. But these things are not human. Could it be that all that thinking
and self-aware thought keeps us from following our natural instincts?
Human beings do things all the time
that are against our natural instincts. Every what someone try a cigarette for
the first time? Ever hear someone say “It’s an acquired taste”? That is because
that 195 proof moonshine wants to kill you. Meth is filled with some of the
most God awful chemicals on the planet but that was an epidemic, especially in
this part of the country. And yet, people did it anyway.
If the zombies are not migrating… then
what the hell are they doing? I mean where are they marching to? Could it be
that the whole mob is just following the Alpha and that Alpha is secretly
thinking to himself, “I have no idea where I am going but they are all
following me… so, uh, everybody… this way! Yeah, that’s the ticket!” Obviously
I am speaking metaphorically here.
I seriously doubt that a zom can
instinctually be in New York City, sniff the air, and think, “There is a lot of
human flesh down in Texas.”
I guess we have to go with migration
because I cannot think of what other reason they would all be shambling on with
such a purpose. Sure, we have seen the shambling zoms but that kind of wanders
aimlessly, looking for something to pop up on its minimal radar screen. But
that horde that moved through, the massive one, they were moving like they were
chasing something. It was like they knew dinner was just over the next rise.
Could it be that they are like a wave
where the larger the horde gets, the more purpose they move with? The Alpha is
surfing the crest of the wave and the larger that group is behind them, the
more they move with a purpose? I suppose that makes sense but I really feel
sorry for whatever group that crashing wave breaks against.
I just have to hope it isn’t us. But
even if it is, our wall are strong and we can wait it out inside.
