I am trying to look for a bright side.
Truly, I am. Even before all this happened, I was aware that my sand was
creeping out of my hourglass. It was strange. Despite the fact that I had a
teenage son, I never felt old. For all I know, my attitudes might have changed
after I reached forty where I might have been wandering around the parking lot
of the same job I had in high school saying, “What have I done with my life?”
But I never really felt… old.
Sure the joints creak a little bit in
the morning when it is cold but I always felt like I held a youthful soul in my
heart. Like wringing water out of a sponge, it seems like that vitality is
being drained from me with every loss. And I am not going to lie. Luke is a
hard one to take.
I don’t know. I guess I just had this
mental image of Luke and I going the distance. I had friends in high school
that I was close with and I held Luke in that same regard as those guys.
Believe me. That is saying something.
For him to be gone… to be here one day
and gone the next… I think that is the hardest thing. I know that this can
happen with anyone. And it has. Becca. Janet. Ashlynn. Tommy. Judy.
Audrey.
But Luke is different. We are all
close in here. Even the new arrivals. I have bonded with Eric and Justin just
as much as the people who were locked in during Zero Hour but everyone has
people that you relate with better. Hunter is going to have more in common with
Kanen and Lance than I will. That is just natural.
Luke was one of my closer allies. So
this one stings more than most. You tell yourself. You know. In the back of
your mind, you know. Anyone of us could be gone at any time. You mentally steel
yourself for that possibility.
But no matter how much you prepare, no
matter how much you imagine it, sometimes you just cannot prepare for it until
the actual event falls in your lap. And when that happens, the best you can do
is deal with it as best you can.
