It’s 3:00 in the morning. It has been
around 18 hours I guess since I had a little bit of a breakdown. Here is the
thing. Back in 2005, my dad and I got into a big argument because my mom was
riddled with cancer and I asked what we were going to do for her as far as
burial or cremation or whatever. But she had not passed away yet. My dad was
mad because he didn’t want any negative energy around my mom. I saw it as being
practical and preparing for the worst. He saw it as giving up.
I don’t know why this happened. I
don’t know why we have survived as long as we have but the fact is we are still
here. And there could be hundreds of thousands of deceased spirits looking down
on us right now, encouraging us to continue.
Think of them like contestants on a
reality game show. If you remember the TV show BIG BROTHER, I desperately
wanted to be on that show. Before I was shaving my head, I always said if I
could lose a few inches around my waist and gain a few inches of hairline, I
would apply. And there have been a handful of contestants that quit or broke
the rules and got kicked out. I would scream at them (through my TV). I would
be pissed off because I wanted desperately to be on the show and they get cast
and make it into the house and then they walk out? Idiots!
Well, as I was saying, there are
probably spirits of the departed who have been mauled and their lives ended by
a pack of zombies. They may be looking at me, screaming, “He is giving up? I
would trade places with him in a second!” And they are right.
This all has to be for something and I
apologize for losing sight of that. I cannot guarantee anything. I cannot
guarantee tomorrow. But for all I know, this will get us rescued. This will
save a life. I promise to fight on both for you and for me.
Sorry for losing focus.
