This entry is pretty rough but I
feel that talking about it on here might help me out.
We
lost Ashlynn and Janet due to blood loss as a result of trauma. Please bear
with me as I type this. The starving zombie that got a hold of Janet did so
much damage that she bled out quickly. Literally, by the time we got the place
locked back down and secure, she was gone. Ashlynn held on slightly longer but
Janet was just… mangled. The neck wounds she received ended things very
quickly. In a way, I am happy that she did not suffer long. But she died alone
on the concrete floor while we were going toe to toe with the zoms that had
made it through. At least Ashlynn got to look in Kelsey’s eyes and have her
hand held as she slipped away.
As
you have read, Tommy and Becca’s wounds were minor and they were forced to deal
with it in their own way. But Ashlynn and Janet were two beloved members of our
group. “Mama” Janet was a real mother figure for everyone. Ashlynn had this
incredible laugh and probably dropped more zombies thanks to her sniper skills
than any other member in our crew.
The second their hearts stopped
beating, Janet and Ashlynn became a liability. We knew that they could reanimate
at any moment and put us all in jeopardy. So we neutralized the threat as
cleanly as we could so that everyone could say proper goodbyes without that
time bomb ticking away.
I tried to adopt a bit of a
Lieutenant Worf stance on this whole thing. When a Klingon warrior dies, there
is a ritual where their fellow warriors stand guard over the body – from things
like predators and such – to give the soul enough time to escape. After that,
the body is just meat. Part of me wants to treat these bodies as such.
I am not saying that we shouldn’t
show respect or just toss them outside to rot. I remember holding the urn that
held my mother’s ashes for the first time. There was an electrical connection.
It was very subtle. It could have all just been in my head. But there is
something about knowing that this urn holds my mother’s mortal body… There was
just something there. So I was all about giving them all the time they needed
to mourn.
We
have dressed them as neatly as possible but, for now, we are storing their
bodies in the now empty ice cream freezer until the outside environment is
suitable for a burial. I think having that time with their mother tremendously
helped Brad and Kim. And Kasondra as well.
I still cannot believe we lost
Janet. This sucks. I am going to miss her so much. She gave these genuine hugs
that just made you feel so safe and happy. She taught me how to make jambalaya.
She held my hand and told me how much she loved me when things were at their
worst for me personally.
Screw it. Stay safe. Please…
