I debated about even posting on this
because the only one that might find it interesting is me… Last week, we all
watched Brad and Kasondra get married. The booze was flowing. Everyone was
having a good time. People were dancing and singing and enjoying the moment.
When you are single, sex gets pushed
to the back of your brain. What I mean is when you are married and sleeping
next to someone, it doesn’t really compute for a couple not to have sex on a regular basis. It’s right there next to you.
What stops you from rolling over and giving her (or him) a little squeeze to
kick start things?
But when you are single and sleeping
alone, you take your shower, climb into bed, and try to stay awake long enough
to finish The Colbert Report. Then
you go to sleep. Sure, you wish that you had someone to be with but if that
option is not on the table, you just kind of push it off the agenda. There is
no chance of it happening, so your brain just doesn’t focus on it. If you are
married, there is a chance, you hope for it, and if it happens it happens. But
that chance of it happening can
dominate your thoughts.
Like if you buy a lottery ticket, you
cannot help but think about what you do with the money. With no ticket, why
even think about it? It is wasted energy because there is no chance of it
happening. Man, remember when there was a lottery? And money? I always said
that if I won the lottery, my first car that I would buy is the 2012
Transformers Special Edition Chevy Camaro. But the car that I would have custom
built would be a drivable replica of The Tumbler from Batman Begins. Street legal. You might ask me what I would do with
that… Uh, drive it to the grocery store to buy milk, of course. I kinda feel
like I went off on a tangent there… Back on track!
Anyway, at the wedding reception, I
kissed somebody. Maybe it was the booze, the mood, the event or what have you.
It was the first romantic contact I have had with someone since… since… Well,
it has been a very long time.
I am not going to lie. It was very,
very nice. A person wants to be wanted. It is one thing to kiss a young lady.
It is a whole other animal if she kisses back. Now, it was just a kiss. That
morning after when the crew all got together for breakfast, we didn’t really
discuss it. She just winked at me and smiled from across the table. But still,
I have to nip this in the bud.
I can’t. I have Alex to think about.
On top of everything he has gone through, the last thing he really needs is to
see his father kissing a woman that is not his mom. There has to be some mental
trauma there if that happens. And I don’t want to add to his burden. He is
being forced to grow up too fast as it is. He doesn’t have any other kids his
age to play with. Kilo is his best friend in this place. Fred spends a lot of
time with Alex. I think it is one of those relationships where Alex gets a
grandfather figure and Fred gets to be a grandpa. (That is a role he is very
good at too.)
I really don’t want to add to his
stress or burdens… But her lips were so soft and inviting… No. No. No. Focus on
the task at hand. Killing zoms. Killing zoms. Killing zoms. Back to business…
