I never said we were mature. And I
think if you want to survive the horrid hellscape that awaits you outside, you
have to embrace a little immaturity from time to time. I don’t even know who
came up with the idea but they took those little plastic checker pieces from a
checkers game off the game rack, threw in one for each person. All of the
checkers are red except one. There is one black chip amongst the sea of red.
Whoever draws the black chip has to go into the office and sit while everyone
else scatters.
It is then a good old fashioned game
of hide and seek. But here is the kicker. If you are found, then you become a
seeker too. So you can have a great hiding place but if someone else sees you
take refuge, if they get caught, they are going to sell you down the river. If
you “catch” someone, you get to claim their checker chip.
There are two winners to every game.
The last person to go without being discovered is automatically considered one
winner. Then, the second winner is whoever claims the most chips from people
found throughout the game. It ensures that the seekers don’t really work
together and it extends the game substantially.
People have been known to shut off
power to the lights, hoping to gain the advantage of darkness. I have seen
people trying to use the intercom system to play psychological warfare. I have
seen people wall themselves up on shelves, hiding behind packages of toilet
paper, hiding in large stock boxes, on top of coolers… I don’t think there is a
single nook and cranny that has not been explored and exploited at this point.
And then you have to consider, do you find the perfect spot and stay put? Or do
you risk trying to go mobile and avoiding the sweepers as they conduct their
searches?
The funniest part of the game is the beginning
because no one looks at their checker color when they pull it from the bag. You
can see people looking around at each other, sizing each other up and
contemplating their strategies. They are doing this while music plays on the
intercom. After everyone has their chip, we wait for the song that is currently
playing to end. After that, everyone opens their hand. Everyone that is holding
red scatters like roaches with the lights coming on and there is always that
one loan voice that whines, “Awww man.”
Now the kicker is the song that is
playing. You have to pay attention to that song. If it is a song by the Foo
Fighters, you don’t have a lot of time to find a good spot. One time when Kanen
was seeking, the song that randomly queued in was “Foreplay/Long Time” by
Boston. That is almost eight minutes of music for you to hide in. People could
have constructed duck blinds with those eight minutes.
Still the undisputed hiding king
continues to be Nolan. He holds the record for being the last one found. I
cannot tell if he has one really good hiding spot or multiple ones but we
rarely see him emerge when the second to the last person is found. It is not
like when the call goes out over the intercom that he pops the hatch and says,
“Hear I am!” Inevitably, someone just rounds a corner and there he will be. Or
when the second to the last person is found, everyone heads back to base and
more often than not, Nolan is sitting there waiting for other seekers to show
up.
I am telling you, kids, embrace the
immaturity. It just might keep you sane.
