We have all had one of those
conversations. You meet someone for the first time, say at a party or
something. Everything seems normal at first and then the conversation takes a
bit of a weird turn and you think to yourself, I don’t ever want to piss off that guy. Napoleon once said that
friends make the best enemies because they know exactly where to strike. And I
know there are saying about that thin line between love and hate. You see it in
divorces all the time. People can go from pledging their undying devotion to
someone at the altar and then calling them a money grubbing coun-try music fan
at the divorce proceedings. This probably happened everyday back in the real
world.
We all know someone who has been
through that ugly divorce and cannot stand to be in the same room with their
ex. It is funny because at one time, they had to be madly in love with them (or
really pregnant) or they wouldn’t have married them in the first place. But
once that trust was betrayed and that marriage bond was broken for whatever
reason – infidelity, abuse, betrayal, whatever – those two people never are the
same again. And then once that snowball starts rolling and gains momentum,
nothing can stop it.
I still think a lot of it goes back to
sex. Back in the day, I put up with a lot of crap and did a lot of things I
didn’t want to do for the hopes that I would be rewarded carnally. Do you think
I actually wanted to take down all the cupboard cabinets and change out all the
hinges and paint everything? Hell no. But I did it because it would make her
happy and if she was happy maybe that meant she would do something extra that
night. Men put up with a lot of crap if we think that there is a chance we will
get to touch certain places or if certain places of ours will be touched. Once
the “D” word enters the equation, people stop putting up with the stuff that
they might have tolerated before. And the downward spiral begins to turn into a
nose dive. You can just here the captain coming on over the in-flight speakers.
“Folks, this is your captain speaking. Uh… Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em ‘cause we’re
going down.”
At least that is how it is for guys. I
don’t know how it works from a girl’s perspective. That is just how it works
for us. If I am wrong, I will apologize but I believe it is called “making
love” for a reason. Now… that brings us to today’s topic and this is my belief
that I never want to piss Shala Martin off.
I think everyone has thought about
this at one point and time. We have all seen those movies. They inevitably has
a role played by William Zabka or Ted McGinley. You know the one where the
jocks are working out and there is a line of dialogue that is something like,
“We need to get that spaz, man.” Or, “Why would you want to date that chic,
man? She’s from Bayside.” But we all feel better because by the end of the
movie, karma has reared her head and the bully/douche bag gets his comeuppance.
And we all feel better. There are those out there that are the William Zabka of
our lives – that torturing bully that we secretly wish would get their
comeuppance. And in the middle of the night, when no one is around, we secretly
wish that these bullies have become zombies… after dying painfully. If you don’t
want to admit it, that is fine. But secretly, you know and I know. We all have
that person.
Well, for Shala, her William Zabka is
her ex-husband.
I know I am only hearing her side of
the story and it takes two to tango but this guy sounds like a Grade A turd
burglar. And while zombification is not a fate that most would wish upon their
worst enemy, Shala is pretty open about hoping that this guy was in fact part
of the transformation. And she hopes that somehow he would magically end up in
Langley so that she could personally take him out… one piece at a time.
And the descriptions of the torture
she would inflict on his body, knowing that he could not die no matter how much
damage she inflicted upon him… Well, she said it would tremendously satisfying.
When she talked about INSERT HERE, I have to admit I kinda glanced at her from
out of the side of my eye and scooted a few inches away from her. I know it is
all just cathartic rhetoric but it was one of those instances where I had to
tell her, “Jeez, let me know if I ever make you mad, okay?”
She was pretty creative when it came
to her ideas. Chopping off this and thwacking off that. And in fact, all of
these conversations have given me an idea. More later…
