I love steak. I love everything about
steak. The only thing I like more than eating steak is the smell of steak while
it is cooking on the grill. So for all you vegetarians and vegans out there, I
am sorry. Now, you can read into this article as much as you want but I will
save you the trouble. You are missing out on meat.
Now, scientific theory is proven by
being able to analyze data and recreating the experiment in a laboratory. I
have mentioned several times in this blog how we are not scientists by any
stretch of the imagination but I think this might be one of the most scientific
things we have done so far.
Justin Burkes led this science
experiment with the help of a few of us. Using equal lengths of twine taken
from the Meat Department, we basically made these containers that would allow
us to dangle food items off the front of the store. We used containers of
identical size, settling on those Tupperware containers that you are supposed
to store bagged cereal in to keep in fresh. These worked out great because the
containers hung at an angle and had a handle that was easy to lash the twine
to.
We chose a variety of items based
mainly on their odor. We chose freshly cooked ground beef, uncooked fish, a
chopped up onion, a freshly peeled orange, and coffee grounds. We measured out
exactly one pound of each item to keep everything even (for the basis of
scientific measurements). Then from our perch on the roof, we lowered all five
containers down to eye/nose level. We had five people each controlling a container
along with spotters to assist in the experiment. We then made enough noise to
bring in a few straggling walkers that were roaming around. It took a little
while for them to get to us (which I take as a good sign) but sure enough, they
came staggering into the parking lot. Then we just had to wait.
Every time, as the zom approached the
front of the store, they went for the cooked hamburger meat. Naturally, once
they got close, we hauled up the containers and a sniper bullet to the head put
the zom down. We changed the order of the food. Sometimes the meat would be in
Position A, then in Position E. It didn’t matter. Everytime, the zoms went for
the cooked meat first. Once we had clearly established that meat is the first
choice, we stopped dropping it down. Once lured in, the zoms paid some
attention to the fish but they were by no means bloodhounds like they were with
the hamburger.
All the other food, the coffee, the
onions, and the oranges, the expressed no interest in. They want meat. There is
your natural order. That is what they are interested in: cooked, raw, cow, dog,
human… It doesn’t seem to matter.
But what does matter is that both
Lance and Hunter saw what we were doing and I saw their wheels turning. And
they both got that look. You know the look I am talking about? We probably need
to keep an eye on those two…
