136 days ago, I was worrying about my
mortgage, needing to get the oil changed in my car, and getting pissed off when
power glitches would foul up my DVR and it wouldn't record two channels at once
like it is supposed to. Think about that. All these things I thought was so
important. Now? I would give vital parts of my anatomy to go back to those
days.
When you are surrounded by
bloodthirsty reanimated corpses that want nothing more than to chew your guts
out, things like worrying about the release date of the latest Ryan Reynolds
movie or worrying when the McRib is coming back to McDonalds no longer really
seems important.
You know the funny thing is... While
not in this context, I said that this is what the human race needed and the
irony is so thick that I am writing about this on September 11th
that you can cut it with a knife.
I always liked to say that what the
world needed was a good old-fashioned alien invasion. Now, stick with me on
this one. See, here in Oklahoma the Bedlam game is always a big deal. That is
where the Oklahoma Sooners meet the Oklahoma State Cowboys on the football
field. On that day, the state is divided down the center. The line in the sand
is clear. But even if you run around saying “Orange Power” 364 days out of the
year, when the Sooners take on Texas for the Red River Rivalry, you root for
Oklahoma – if only for that day.
Here in Oklahoma, we hate Texas. But
if Texas is playing Florida State University for a national championship, we
will root for Texas because they are closer to us than Florida. But if that
same guy that we booed against from Florida is playing in the Olympics, we root
for him simply because he is from the United States.
So if the aliens of Glorgnak VII
invaded Earth, for the first time, we as a human race would have a single enemy
to rally around. On September 11th, 2001, it seemed like all of the
United States was galvanized from the attack on us from a foreign threat. It
was all of us looking forward in the same direction. I remember that time so
clearly. School shootings and violence towards each other suddenly seemed
unthinkable because you had an exterior threat knocking on our door.
I guess, in a way, the zoms are my
alien invasion. They don’t care about skin color, ethnicity, creed, heritage, political
affiliation, your stance on abortion, or if you do or do not think that One
Direction and Britney Spears was the downfall of music as we know it. At the
end of the day, zoms have become a great equalizer. They are relentless. Don’t
care if you are white, black, gay, straight, pro-life, pro-choice…
All that petty bickering and in
fighting has fallen to the wayside. And I think it is because the zoms
certainly are not fighting amongst themselves. So how can we afford to? Do you
really think I care if you are Democrat or a Republican if the horde is closing
in? Hell, no. I just care how well you can fire that weapon or beat back this
wave of undead.
Kyle Reese warned Sarah Connor: It can't be
bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or
fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. Zoms
are the same way people. So you better put all that aside if you want to
survive…
