Growing
up in the country the way I did, I was not completely immune from encounters
with dead animals. It could have been coyotes causing problems, road kill, or
other such instances. I cannot imagine a kid growing up in New York City or Los
Angeles has ever experienced seeing a deer or a large dog that has been on the
losing end of an encounter with a pickup truck. Leave that carcass on the side
of the road for a few days in the July sun and things get pretty ripe quickly.
I’ve been walking along creek banks and come across the rotting carcass of dead
fish that have been trapped when high water receded. It is a scent that is impossible to get out
of your nostrils and once you encounter it for the first time, it is quite easy
to recognize it every time you forget it afterward.
Now,
before the world degenerated into the mass chaos, my amount of time spent
around dead bodies was limited at best. I had been to so little funerals that I
could count them on my fingers and even then the bodies had already gone
through their process of being prepared for burial.
So
to be quiet honest with you, I cannot tell you what a dead human body smells
like. But if I had to fancy a wager, death is death. Rotting meat is rotting
meat and that smell is pretty !#$%ing universal.
Well,
I want you to think about something as we are now into October and whatever
week this is in this whole crap storm. Zombies are dead people. They are dead,
rotting, skin falling off corpses that don’t know they are supposed to lie down
and die.
So
if you and your teams are wanting to sweep through a building, make like Toucan
Sam and put your schnozz to work. There is a pretty good chance you might be
able to smell this wretched horrors coming.
Now
the downside to this is that there is a pretty good chance that if you can
catch a whiff of them, they can catch a whiff of you too. So you better be on
your guard.
However, if you are
sensitive to such offensive odors… If for some reason the aromatic bouquet of
burst intestines and diseased breath from lungs rotting from the inside out are
not your cup of tea, then I would definitely check into a paint mask. And
remember the sky is the limit. Don’t just get those paper/cloth masks that you
can pick up anywhere. I kind of doubt your local Sherman Williams is closely
guarded at this point.
We picked up several
of those 3M half-face air respirators that people use when they are spraying
chemicals or painting cars. I tried one of those full face mask deals like
Walter White made when he was cooking meth but they are hot and restrict your
peripheral vision. I felt too claustrophobic when wearing one and the outside
world is stressful enough.
This is just one more
reason why you need to burn these bodies. Don’t let the zoms that you have
dropped continue to rot and fester in your back yard.
Burn those mothers
down. Trust me, your nose will thank you.
