I don’t want to sound like we are a
bunch of rat scumbags roving the town of Langley just saying, “Smashy-smashy”
and breaking windows to steal whatever we come across. But, the truth is we are
looting.
It is one of those things where some
areas show zero sign of life and things are just sitting there on shelves. Some
businesses have had to be cleared of zoms and I think most of the sweeper teams
use that as justification. We claimed it. It’s ours. We put our lives in danger
for this stuff. No one else is around. We got dibs. I know it seems kind of
childish to use Kindergarten law for something like clothes and survival
equipment. Okay, not everything has been for survival but I have probably
warned you about this already. You have to keep your mind occupied in order to
stay sane in this world. So swiping that Xbox 360 is not just random looting.
It is specifically purposed to improve our way of life. As for the house that
it was taken from… well, those people were not going to be using it anyway.
The apartment complex across from the
store has been pretty well stocked when it comes to being able to search
through a large number of homes in a short time frame and space. I don’t want
to sound ghoulish here but our people are thinking long term. In the summer
time, businesses around a lake are not known for stocking winter coats, hooded
sweatshirts, blankets, comforters, or space heaters. And in the sweltering heat
of August, it is not really top priority. But, again, we are thinking long
term, down the road. Keys hanging on key racks give us easy access to new
vehicles, a lot of which have pretty full gas tanks and no owners.
The boys came back with something that
was, well… unique. They came back with one of those gang-star style pickup
trucks with the custom paint jobs and all tricked out with chrome. But why they
wanted the pick-up was because of the massive sound system inside it. Back in
the early 90s, man, those trunk rattling bass systems were all the rage. Yes, I
had one too when I was in high school. They seem to have faded in prominence
now but this guy’s system was pretty intense. So try to imagine the hilarity
when we stripped a metric ton of speakers and amps out of this flashy pick-up
truck and loaded all that equipment into a pretty new hybrid Prius.
Bear with me. Those Prius cars and all
those hybrids are very quiet to operate. I am not going to go all green on you
guys. This is not a Save the Earth campaign. We needed that 100 days ago. But
what we have discovered is this.
Zombies love Volbeat.
I know it sounds crazy but the rapid fast
drumbeats and the heavy guitar work just seems to echo from the “Soundinator”
like no other band. We have tried several. Metallica. Slash. Sarah McLachlan
was an epic fail. But nothing seemed to get the meatbags stirred up like
Volbeat.
Two people load up in the Prius, roll
the windows down to a safe degree, and crank the tunes up to 11. They then
slowly start trolling through Langley. Any stragglers and rogue zoms shambling
about start taking off in the direction of the loud noise. Then like the Pied
Piper, the Prius slowly starts heading north along Highway 82 headed towards
Ketchum. It is a slow, steady pace to make sure the zoms keep shuffling after
them. This gives our sweepers teams a safer environment to do more looting.
(Note: I said “safer” not “safe.”)
Once a far enough distance has been
achieved, the Prius driver clicks off the music, mashes the gas pedal, and
makes a frantic dash to get into Ketchum and travel back to Langley via the
back roads. The zoms keep traveling down Highway 82, chasing after a car that
is long gone and our people make it back safe and sound.
It is safe(r), effective, and improves
our sweeper teams’ ability to get in and out. So I say, “Good on us” and we
just keep rolling along.
