Tomorrow marks the halfway point in
our journey. The goal continues to be one year spent here in the store. If we
can accomplish this, we believe that the decomposition of the zombies stalking
around out there will eliminate enough of their ranks that we will be able to
go into a more offensive mode instead of playing the defensive game. So
tomorrow, we are celebrating the six-month mark.
My wife used to make a big deal about
half-birthdays. I think with my birthday being so close to Christmas, she used
it as an opportunity to make the day somewhat special. The house was already
decorated for two weeks when my birthday rolled around on Dec. 10th.
December babies do tend to miss out on things like streamers and Happy Birthday
decoration because they get lost in the glow of trees and tinsel.
Still, six month is a pretty good
accomplishment. You would hear all these horror stories about what your life
expectancy in war was depending on what your job was. Like in Viet Nam,
helicopter door gunners had a life expectancy of a few minutes. I may be
pulling that statistic out of my ass. But still, I would be curious to see what
the life expectancy some nerd with a computer could generate for a complete
breakdown of society as the result of rampaging undead cannibals. I’m betting
it is not six months.
And near as we can tell, no one is
dropping weight. We don’t look like Survivor
contestants. Everyone is getting vitamin supplements, lots of water, rest,
exercise… No one is sitting the bar drinking with an imaginary bartender Jack
Nicholson style. I mean, as far as the end of the world goes, we are doing
pretty good.
I would not go so far as to say that
we are looking towards the future but people are making plans for winter.
Everyone is looking for ways to improve our living conditions. Morale is high.
Surprisingly so. I think sharing the burden is helping. Everyone seems to be
part of this elaborately silent support system where we are propping each other
by not talking about it. Therapists would probably frown on us not talking
about it as much but what are we going to say to each other?
Survivor 1: “Man, having all those
zombies out there really sucks.”
Survivor 2: “Yeah, it does.”
What else can we really say to one
another? Usually our therapy comes in the form of loading the rifles. When that
clip of ammunition slams home and you rise over that retaining wall, things
become remarkably black and white.
What is wrong? I am angry.
Why? Because zombies destroyed life as
we know it.
What can you do to fix this? Destroy
all zombies.
Here is your weapon. Fire away. Case
closed. Problem solved. Thank you, Dr. Melfi. Tell Dr. Frasier Crane he no
longer needed on hold. There is something very soothing when you sight that
scope in properly and the black circles go away. You breathe out and squeeze
that trigger. Boom! Well, with the silencers it is more like “Pfffthh.” But
another undead walker drops to the deck.
That is our therapy. That is why we
have lasted six months. And that is why we will last six more. I just try not
to think of the mathematically logic that there is the potential for there to
be about 7 billion zoms on the planet…
Happy
Half-Birthday to Us.
