Last week, I was writing about how we
lost Shannon and how I have nightmares of her being drug off the back dock. I
realize that what I was typing could be deemed as insensitive. Just to refresh your
memory, this is what I typed:
I
know you are not supposed to speak ill of the departed but Shannon was just not
strong enough for this world. Inside here, she was fine but exposed, on her own
or on the run… She just could not have hacked it.
I know it is rough. And the first
question I had to ask myself after I typed it was, “Hey what about you, big
shot? Can you hack it or are you just another member of the phony tough or the
crazy brave?”
Truth be told, I think I can hack
it. I am not going to apologize for having the wherewithal to lock this place
down in time, command the resources, and take advantage of a situation where
there were very few advantages to be had.
A few simple quirks of fate and I
could have easily been trapped on the outside during zero hour. I could have
been dropped the same way that Audrey, Janet, Fred, and so many others were
lost. You can call it luck. You can call it skill. But I feel like I have made
solid decisions for this group that has saved lives, allowed us to integrate
with others, and allowed us to survive. I am not some representation of that
one guy who rode the bomb all the way down, whooping and hollering and waving
his cowboy hat. What was his name? Slim Whitman? Sam Pickens? I cannot
remember.
I’ve been pretty resilient through
this whole thing and I feel like I have been smart about it. Overprotective?
Probably. But by these rules, most of us have stayed alive. I say all that but
I know at the end of the day, we have all been “playing house.” We’ve been playing
with cheat codes enabled.
I say that because we have not had
to scrounge for food yet. Since Day One, we have had weapons and ammunition.
And every time a massive horde has rolled through, rather than a direct
confrontation, we have buttoned up, hunkered down, and just rode out the storm.
To get Alex to the government, we
are going to have to step out into the unknown. And that is where our survival skills
are really going to be put to the test. That is when it is going to be real.
If we survive that, then yes, I
think we can all talk a big game after that. Everything up until now has been a
scrimmage. Once we step on those buses and roll out of this parking lot, it is
going to be real.
I just hope we are all ready for it…
