Way back when this first started,
everyone wrote a “contingency letter” that was only to be opened in the event
of being infected. In that letter, you were allowed to select your fate and our
group of survivors was duty bound to follow those wishes.
Kelsey wanted to be taken out quickly
and quietly before she turned. Kelsey was one of those girls, you know the
type, that posted a lot of religious quotations on her Facebook page along with
pictures of her and her nephews. She was remarkably upbeat given the situation
that we were in and now I regret not writing more about her in this blog so all
of you could get to know her better.
She was very pretty. Prettier than she
realized. In my humble opinion she could have stood to gain a little weight. She wasn’t unhealthy or anorexic by any
means. A booty that wouldn’t quit. But she was also always quick to smile and
she had a genuine innocence about her that was quite refreshing.
And I am sure by now, you realize that
I am talking about her in the past tense. Her wish was simple. She didn’t want
to turn. She didn’t want to turn and be a potential threat to everyone in here.
Being that ultimate cheerleader, she was willing to let herself be taken out
quickly.
Truth be told, she was starting to
suffer. The virus was really starting to take her toll on her. But in the
letter she expressly had it written out that she didn’t want to see it coming. So,
we plowed her with some painkillers and a heavy dose of Nyquil. She drifted off
to what would count as a peaceful sleep.
Lance gently put a pillow over her
face and pulled the trigger. We never removed the pillow. We just covered her
up, wrapped her in her blankets, and prepped her for a good Christian burial.
Alex is struggling with this one. We
all suffered survivor guilt in the weeks following Zero Hour but both he and
Kelsey were tagged at the same time and so here it is all over again. He lived.
She died. And he doesn’t understand why.
I know that these words cannot truly
convey my emotions on here. I am trying to play up a certain fairy tale
peaceful ending to this whole thing when, in truth, this was about as horrible
as you could get. Everyone but Kelsey knew what we were about to do. Maybe she
knew as we were giving her the pills and medicine. But if she did, she masked
her fear like a champ. Maybe she knew but she didn’t know.
Kelsey and Kim had grown pretty tight
during our time together. She and I were sitting in the pharmacy. She knew what
was coming and there was nothing I could say to comfort her. I just offered to
hold her hand as a friend. We were supposed to be looking out the window but
Kim caught sight of Lance coming out of the cash office (which we modified into
our armory).
She jumped into my arms like a little
frightened animal. I’ve avoided so much physical contact lately I felt like
Lenny from Of Mice and Men trying to
awkwardly comfort her. Both of us jumped when the gunshot went off. But there
was only one shot so we knew it was clean and painless for her. All I could do
was hold her and let her cry it all out. What else can you do in that moment?
We lost someone pretty special to the
group. All we can do is move on.
LOST MEMBER: Kelsey
Cameron – 26, Female, Spavinaw, OK
