I’ve never been good with “never.” My
mind has difficulty wrapping my head around the concept of never. Like, when I
was a senior in high school, there was this smoking hot foreign exchange
student from Germany. She was so good looking. A true knock out in every sense
of the word. And when senior year was over, she went back to Germany. I never
saw her again. I suppose I probably should have tried to find her on Facebook
but I just never got around to it. If the Kharon epidemic is indeed a global
pandemic, there is a very real chance that she is gone. But as of right now, I
don’t know.
It is much the same thing with my
father, my sister, and all those family members that were spread across the
country when all this broke. Are they all alive? Are they as worried about me
as I am about them?
When Fred checked out, he was gone.
That was it. When we lost Keith, he was gone. That was it. With Sharon up and
leaving, there is no final chapter for her… at least, not in our story. We
don’t know if she is alive. We don’t know if she made it to her place and if
Doug was still there. For all we know, she could have been hit by a shamble in
Spavinaw and never made it outside of Mayes County.
What is it about human nature that
requires closure? We saw it all the time in the justice system. We were looking
for someone to blame. This went wrong. Who is responsible? These people. What
should we do? Make them pay. Case closed. We all moved on. What is it in the human psyche that requires
closure?
In a way – and don’t take this wrong –
but it was easier to deal with Fred’s departure than Sharon’s because of the
finality. My mind does not wander wondering what happened to Fred. He was here,
he got bit, and he is gone. Case closed. Yes, I do still miss him. There are
times where memories will spark and I will smile. I will think of him and I
miss his leadership. But then we just move on because we know that Fred is gone
and there is no coming back.
Now, Sharon left yesterday. It is
possible that she got to her place and found Doug was gone. She may have
decided to spend the night in her own bed and in the morning she will pack up
and head back to us. It is possible. But we have no idea what will become of
her.
Is my dad alive and trying to make it
here from Germany? Surely if my sister was alive in Oklahoma City, she could
have made it here by now. Or is she holed up in a supermarket somewhere
wondering what has happened to me?
You just don’t know and that whole
thing just drives you crazy. Is Dillon dead? Odds are, statistically speaking,
since he hasn’t shown back up yet, you have to assume so… but then, anything
could happen. You just never know. And, damn, is it frustrating.
