Back in later September, I posted an
article talking about what we conceived of a plan we took to calling “The Bob
Initiative.” After reading this, I assume that you thought that we were either
geniuses or psychopaths. To recap, our goal was to grab several zoms and
incapacitate them by curb stomping them (no biting) and chopping off their legs
(limiting mobility). We would then lash them to t-posts taken from Ace Hardware
and line them in the ditch between our parking lot and Highway 82.
Note: Jennifer added to this plan by
suggesting that we roll the windows down a smidge in cars used for the
barricades and then seatbelt the zoms into the seats. Yes, it would have to be
cars we never intend on using or moving. By doing this, when the next shambling
horde comes through, the theory is that they see more zoms here and assume
there is no food in the area so they shuffle off down the road.
The catch to this is that we don’t
know if the “Bob” zombies will cause the horde to move on or prompt them to
hang around longer. Time is going to tell because we took advantage of the
brutal cold snap that has moved in.
As we proved with the Carbone
Initiative this summer, zombies are capable of freezing. So we snatched up some
local zombie popsicles and went to town. They weren’t frozen solid but their
movements were sluggish enough to do what we needed to. And right now, as we
speak, we have a row of zoms lined up in the ditch and quite a few seat belted
into the clunkers we care less about.
In case you forgot, we lined the north
and south end of the parking lot with the school buses but the west end (the
wall running perpendicular to the highway) is made of standard cars to give us
a better line of sight from the roof for our snipers to target anything in the
highway.
Now, when they thaw out fully, all
the Bobs will be able to do is flail their arms about and growl, just like we
want them to.
I think we finished this project up
just in time. It is pretty cold now but dark clouds are rolling in from the
north. If I didn’t know any better, it feels like snow is coming on. Hobbit
Judy is claiming to be able to feel it in her knee. And who are we to refute
that kind of meteorological prognostication? Might be time to button up and
shut her down to the outside world for a few days.
*Note: This isn’t South Dakota.
Snows in Oklahoma rarely last more than a week. That is what we will hope for
here.
